I <3 Apples

Tuesday, 10 May 2016
第10天

This is the tenth day since I last heard your voice.. My exams ended, you bombarded me with a text asking me to deal with my mum and making me make an impossible decision between you or my parents.. It's the 4th day grandfather left.. And my world is in chaos.. I'm at a situation where I have to hold back all emotions and I'm dying inside.. I cry almost everyday while I re-lived every happy moment with you, I cry everytime when I realised that if I choose to be with you I would most likely to have to live with this kind of situation where you get stressed and don't talk to me for the rest of my life. I cry when I realised that if I choose to leave you now, I will be abandoning the love of my life to pursue the possible happiness in the future.

You are the perfect man with a fatal flaw which makes you both a dream and a nightmare, you dote me like no one would, but you also hurt me like no one would..

I still receive no phone call from you, all I got was a cold emotionless text that sounded like a stranger from the man I love when you were informed of the lost of a beloved family member in my family..

But after all this I still miss you, I still cared for you. As much as I want you to be here by my side, but I know it wouldn't be good for you if you are here.. I want to tell you all this but I am afraid that you will only see it as an excuse.

I want to hear your voice..

I miss you and I still stupidly love you after all the damage you have done on me

04:14;